about me

Jemma with a J

 Scorpio. 5’4”. 16.

By nature I’m quite fiery, and I’m big on standards. Treat people the way you expect to be treated. And always apologize when you’re in the wrong…even though I do find that hard to do. Expect to get your head bitten off when I’m in a bad mood and you do something to annoy me. 

But I’m also very compassionate and I think fiery and compassionate go hand in hand… There’s no shortage with me, when it comes to the love I give to my friends and family. I often tell people I love them and I really do feel alot for these people. But also tell a lot of people I hate them, and when I do, it’s usually that I feel the complete opposite about them, I just don’t like expressing myself.

Yes. I know I just contradicted everything I said before. But that’s another thing about me. I’m complicated. What you see isn’t what you get. 

I’m a nerd. But I don’t believe in doing things by halfs. If you’re going to do something; do it properly. That applies for everything. From dancing to school work. There’s no point in taking an exam and not coming out with the highest you can possibly get, no point entering a competition to not come first. No matter how much hard work it takes. One of my main flaws is  that I have to always get the best I can, and I put an awful lot of pressure on myself to do extremely well in the many things I try to do.

I’m nothing special. I know that. But I think that everyone has something special about them. Something that a lot of people may not know. You might not even know it yourself. But I’m sure it’s there.

I’m not one of them people you can look at and just understand.  I know with some people you automatically can tell what they are like, but not me. I think I’m a lot different to how I come across when you first meet me. You’ll probably think I’m cocky, patronizing, a nerd, and really really weird. But I can promise you that, I’m really not that bad, it just takes a while for me to come out of my shell and let my guard down. I can’t say that many people actually know me, I let a lot of people think they do, but I know only a few of my friends actually get me and understand me fully. If I let you past all the bravado I put on, then you’ll only get one chance. If you blow it with me that’s it, you’d have to be someone pretty special to me for me to let you in again. I’ve only done it once or twice.

P.E.R.F.E.C.T.I.O.N doesn’t do much for me. It’s the little odd things that you learn to love. No one is perfect. And I don’t try to be. I’m happy being myself, being different, obviously everyone has those things they want to change, but on the whole I’m pretty pleased with myself. I was made this way for a reason. I’ve always said I want to be ‘different’ but too many people these days are trying to be different and they all look the same? I think that’s it much better to just be yourself, don’t be influenced by other people and most importantly don’t change yourself to please others. Sometimes you need to adopt the attitude that people can either ‘love it or leave it’. It’s not easy to make yourself ‘different’ but it’s really simple to just be you! No one can be any more unique!

To say I’m over dramatic is an understatement. Every little thing with me is the end of the world, and sometimes this can be bad…but sometimes good too.

I created this blog to express myself. Something I find hard to do. It’s full of little quotes or song lyrics. Images of people I look up to…or fancy. Everything on here means something to me, whether its a place I’ve been, would like to go. Something I find beautiful or brave. People I feel inspired by. Quotes to live by and songs to get you through. It’s like a little insight to my brain, and I hope you like what you see.

I’m quite clever, I’m by no means stupid, but I don’t like to brag. But one thing that really confuses me is feelings, not just about other people, but myself too. I don’t like to get close to people, I can’t stand the thought that I would actually give someone the power to hurt me!

I’d say I’m quite confident! I do like to show off, and I definitely like to perform and be center of attention. 

As you can probably tell from this insanely long piece of text, (well done if you’ve got this far by the way!) I like to talk, mainly because I like the sound of my own voice. I do tend to babble sometimes, especially if I’m nervous. And some of the things I do come out with have everyone looking at me like; ‘What the fuck is she on?’.

I want to be known, but not just for the sake of it, I want to do some good, make an impact, I don’t mind how I do it, but that’s my goal in life. I want to inspire others that, even if you come from a bad background, grew up in a bad city, and went to a bad school, nothings unachievable, if you want it enough…

I have a lot of people to thank for the way I’ve turned out. And I still have a lot of growing up and figuring out to do. Life is the hardest test you will ever face. But it’s not about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

“Never apologise for saying what you feel. It’s like apologising for being you.”

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